Script Notes

"He could BE one of those THINGS!"

2011-12-22T15:19:00.001Z

Note to Thing: Trim nails in future.

John Carpenter's "The Thing" is one of my all-time favourite films. It was the film that made me want a career in special effects (Okay, that dazzling career never quite happened, but it was enough to really inspire me). To this day, the effects hold up and have yet to be bettered. That might seem like a rose-tinted opinion, but to me, it's true. The sheer imagination on show is dazzling. But in some cases, it's also very subtle (Blair vs. Garry, for example). Carpenter's direction has never been better, and the cast is exceptional. As for Morricone's theme music... classic.

Adam and Kate: Winners of 'Most fanciable scientists 2011'.

Palmer, Fuchs and Norris: Ladies, please...

So here's a belated opinion on the 'prequel' to John Carpenter's "The Thing".

SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! VERY BIG SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!

Deep breath.

Kate: Watching the skies...

Garry: Bennings was his friend.

Here we go:

Right. If we forget JC's version existed, this new version is very entertaining. It's got a great cast - some very talented actors on show, just a pity they don't get enough screen time. It's a 'respectful' attempt i.e. the film makers actually bothered to tie-in the prequel with JC's Thing. I left the cinema thinking 'That could have been a WHOLE lot worse'. See, this is a film that I used to dream of seeing, one day. Ever since I saw JC's version, I wanted more. I know, I know, be careful what you wish for...

The problem with the 2011 version is: The trailer.

Oh, so THAT guy's a thing...

Yep. Definitely a thing.

As any good fanboy does these days, I dissected the trailer. I simply could not wait to see this film. But it's fair to say, the trailer made no attempt to disguise who the thing was. So we see clear images of characters 'thinging out'. The whole point of these movies are - You don't know who the thing is.

Jonas: Give the man a hand...

It harks back to my post a few months ago about how films are marketed. The element of surprise was ruined. There was no mystery to any of it. The trailer simply gave too much away.

That said, the film makes little attempt to play 'guess who' with its cast of characters. Some characters are so thin, you don't even know who has just been killed because you never had time to get to know them. Even Bennings had a couple of scenes that set him up as a bit of a moaner, at least injecting him with some character traits. Simple enough to do without going off-course. Even Fuchs had a tragic element to his character.

Where for art thou, Juliette? Nevermind, I can see you're busy...

The MacReady/Childs relationship had a spark of antagonism. Carter and Jameson are a pale imitation in the prequel. In fact, the way Jameson meets his fate is so... so what, it's like 'was this the best way to kill a character? His death felt like a re-shoot; as if he was meant to do more, but someone changed their mind, too late into the process.

You never get the sense that Mary Elizabeth Winstead could possibly be a 'thing'. With Mac, you were never sure how far JC was going to push it. The story set Mac up as a big, red herring; with suspicion always on him.

This year's Mac.

Mac. Hair almost as nice as Kate's.

One vital ingredient which really beefed up JC's version was the sound effects. The noises emitting from Windows as he burns... the feeble, almost child-like wails added so much to the 'What the HECK is that thing?'... Windows vs. Palmer was a true vision of hell. As JC said in the commentary, if he himself witnessed this scene, he would admit defeat. Game over. The closest the new version comes to this scene is Adam's merging with Edvard-Thing. Other than that, there was no suspense and no surprises.

Adam: Takes good care of his teeth.

Edvard-Thing seeks close friend to join heads with...

Above all, the pacing makes the 2011 version a different beast. 20 mins in, the first thing is revealed. The beast itself never looks 'there'. The CG is good, but as with most CG, looks fake. It 'behaves' differently to JC's monster. But in fairness, the fact that the beast is all-too ready to reveal itself actually expands on JC's Thing-monster.

The Thing is JC's film now plays like it has learned lessons from its first encounter with mankind; now it plans to takes things a bit slow and steady in order to win the day, rather than the somewhat just-woke-up and a bit pissed off 2011 monster.

Mac blasts Palmer, cos, like, he's a thing.

Bennings-Bar-B is a success.

Having read interviews with the writer, it seems some good ideas were cut. Lars was meant to be set-up as a butterfingered klutz, which in turn explains how he manages to drop a grenade in JC's version. That's actually a very funny and cool idea. Why it wasn't used, I've no idea.

Norris opens up for Doc; Defines 'Special' effects.

The sad thing is, there was so much potential with the 2011 incarnation. A great cast, a competent director... but in comparison, it's a fun joyride rather than a slow-burning classic. The abrupt, shocking, blunt violence is replace by cg tentacles, which is a shame. Having said all that, this is no AvP: Requiem.

Ruddy hell, it's Norris-Thing!

Sander-Thing. Hmmm... Na. You're alright.

If you haven't seen it, know that it's not going to be anywhere near as good as JC's version, but it is well-worth watching for the performances alone. There are a lot of great character actors on show who deserve to be seen in a lot more bigger roles. And know this much: JC himself was planning his own sequel a few years ago, still using Mac and Childs. How would he explain their somewhat severe ageing overnight? 'Extreme cold'. Now that would have been a terrible, terrible film... And that's coming from the man who made the classic.

Mac. Nuff said.

Kate. Wishing she had a beard like Mac
for those long winter nights.

Highlights of 2011

2011-12-19T20:13:00.001Z

"What a year!", to use a cliched expression to summarise a year full of stuff.

Chris Jones featured heavily, or at least events organised by the man himself and his lovely team. My first introduction was 'American Independent's Day', back in April; a day spent listening to the wisdom of film producers Ted Hope and Christine Vachon.

Then in June, I attended the Guerrilla Film Maker's Masterclass weekend, which was an intense baptism of knowledge, which definitely helped me to see where I've been going wrong a lot of the time. Utterly recommend it - the next one is coming up in March, so if you seriously want to make films, be there. No excuses.

In October came the cherry on the cake - the London Screenwriter's Festival. Four days (inc. a pitching workshop day, run by Charles Harris) which included seminars with Edgar Wright, David Reynolds, Joe Cornish, and Stuart Hazeldine, as well as speed pitching to producers and hanging out with 300+ film makers. A fantastic experience; one that I can't wait to do again.

Elsewhere, trips to the cinema increased! Woooo!

The Chronicles Of Narnia: Voyage Of The Dawn Treader (Best installment yet)
Thor (Loved it, though it lost some of its impact on DVD)
Scream 4 (Better than part 3, but still a missed opportunity. Good haircuts, though.)
Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes (Too many 'of the's in the title. Didn't see any 'planet of apes'. They just took over a bridge. "Bridge Of The Apes.")
Super 8 (Spielberg wannabe, great emotional core, slightly rubbish Cloverfield monster's kid brother)
Tintin (Great old school rollicking adventure)
Arthur Christmas (Lovely kids film. Took my daughter, her first trip to the cinema. Aaaah.)
The Thing (A good attempt, respectful of Carpenter's version, not as good, easy to see why... an in-depth review will follow)

On the DVD front, here's a list of recommended viewing which scored at least 3.5 and above (out of 5!).

Bridesmaids
The Way
The Messenger
X-Men: First Class
The A-Team
Animal Kingdom
Unknown
Tangled
Rabbit Hole
True Grit
127 Hours
Gulliver's Travels
The King's Speech
Chico And Rita
Somewhere
Another Year
Cyrus
The Social Network
Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
Toy Story 3

And finally, notable offenders of 2011 (or DVD's released this year): Films which scored 1 out of 5 (or less!)
Larry Crowne
Bad Teacher
Attack The Block
Sucker Punch
Norwegian Wood
Miracle At St. Anna
I Am Number 4
Age Of Heroes
Arthur & The Invisibles 2
The Green Hornet
Skyline
Easy A
I'm Still Here
Bonded By Blood
Jonah Hex
Knight And Day
The Last Airbender

Here's to next year: May it be full of great films, success and financial blessings (to pay for the house extension). Chin-chin!

"Whatever you're gonna do, do it fast!"

2011-10-31T12:17:00.000Z

PITCHING + SPEED = SPEED PITCHING.

Its as simple as that. Five minutes with a producer, agent or consultant, in which your one and only goal is HOOK. THEM. IN.

Normally, a pitch wouldn't be in a room full of other people doing the same thing, shouting over the top of each other - or would it? You could be in a pub, or at an event - You see Mr. Big-shot producer, and decide to go for it.

BIG-SHOT: "What's it about?"

YOU: "Er...."

Ten minutes later (if Mr. big-shot hasn't run away screaming), you find yourself saying 'and then this happens, and then that happens...' Not the way to do it. So what does speed pitching teach you?

Keep it simple. Seriously, don't over complicate it. Sure, have a decent hook, a character flaw, a challenge and a dash of irony, but that's it. If there's one thing I took away from all of this is, "If they want to know more, they will ask."

1st Pitch: Went brilliantly. My project suited them, and they want to know more. Fantastic! On top of this, I actually ENJOYED the conversation! A really warm and friendly producer.

2nd Pitch: I pitched more as a flavour of what I write, as I was pitching tv to a film producer, somewhat unfortunately. Yes, I could have pitched a film, but as I'm looking for a producer to create a new project with, I chanced my pitch. The Pitchee was lovely, but not interested, but tried to be helpful which was nice.

3rd Pitch: Same deal as my 2nd i.e. Film not TV, but he asked me to send some sci-fi pitches to him, which is great! Lovely guy, too.

I found it scary but great - in fact the hardest part for me was the buzz and noise in the room, and trying to remain focused above all that. But good fun, and I'd definitely do it again!

What it has taught me as a screenwriter is to write the pitch first. Then write the one-page pitch. Get all that stuff down first. And again, above all - KEEP IT SIMPLE.

The biggest success that I had was pitching an idea that even I can readily admit isn't the most original. Certainly, the script content is, but the premise? Not really. But it made for a good pitch, most likely for this very reason. I added the dash of this-and dash of that once the pitch had ended (to pepper it up), playing off the producer's responses and questions, but it did work.

So when you're writing your script, always know the logline. It will keep you on track with your project, and save you having to figure it all out long after the first or tenth draft.

And remember: Its just a conversation.

The stuff that dreams are made of...

2011-10-31T08:08:00.002Z

Over the past four days, I have been on what can only be described (in Chris Vogler terms) 'A Hero's Journey'.

Mr. Joe Cornish talking hoodies and Tintin

1.) The hero is introduced in his/her ORDINARY WORLD
Me, sat in my office, in my own little bubble, writing scripts.

2.) The CALL TO ADVENTURE
Lots of e-mails since last January from Chris Jones.

3.) The hero is reluctant at first. (REFUSAL OF THE CALL.)
"I'm a poor, struggling writer! I can't spend 3 days at a screenwriting festival!"

4.) The hero is encouraged by the Wise Old Man or Woman. (MEET WITH THE MENTOR.)
AKA more e-mails from a very encouraging Chris.

5.) The hero passes the first threshold. (CROSSING THE THRESHOLD.)
I arrive at Regent's College, London.

6.) The hero encounters tests and helpers. (TESTS, ALLIES, ENEMIES.)
Meeting lots of new characters and wizened mentors like David Reynolds and Stuart Hazeldine. Plenty of pitching test-runs. Enemies in the form of tiredness and the voice in your head that says 'You will FAIL!'

7.) The hero reaches the innermost cave. (APPROACH TO THE INMOST CAVE.)
Sitting in the speed pitching waiting room, listening to 'Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me" from The Rocky Horror soundtrack, chanting to myself 'Its just a conversation, its just a conversation...'

8.) The hero endures the supreme ORDEAL.
Speed pitching!

9.) The hero seizes the sword. (SEIZING THE SWORD, REWARD)
Leaving the pitching room with a result - producers want to see scripts.

10.) THE ROAD BACK.
Surviving London Underground.

11.) RESURRECTION
A small mountain of work to battle through for all the agents, producers, directors etc...

12.) RETURN WITH THE ELIXIR
Back to the ordinary world a changed person.

The four days I spent at the London Screenwriter's festival was almost like being in a movie itself - Being introduced to so many different people from all walks of life. Following their journey and hearing their stories and experiences of the festival was fantastic - all this whilst I was experiencing my own unique journey; listening to talks from David 'Nemo Mother Killer' Reynolds (Finding Nemo), Edgar Wright (Shaun Of The Dead), Joe Cornish (Attack The Block), the heads of drama for the BBC, Channel 4 and Sky, Ashley Pharaoh (Life Of Mars), Stuart Hazeldine (The Day The Earth Stood Still)... And that's just the speakers I saw! Talk about spoiled for choice.

On top of this, I had 50 minutes with a script doctor, which was an absolute blast - not to mention a pre-festival day of workshopping our pitches (an extra £15 for the day but a complete BARGAIN!)

Heroes.

So why weren't you there? Okay, fair enough if you've no interest in having a career as a screenwriter, producer or director, but if you do want this - WHY WEREN'T YOU THERE? Money? Next year, sign up sometime in January (probably) and pay about £24 per month until October. Consider it sacrificing a couple of nights out per month. Time? If you haven't got time for opportunity, then ask yourself why. No babysitter? Fair enough, but my wife had to take two days holiday to cover my absence, as I'm a stay-at-home-dad.

The last four days did have a cost for me financially. It took its toll on my wife (our daughter suddenly stopped sleeping at night two weeks leading up to the festival, and was pretty much in a constant state of tiredness, being sick and stressing out my wife completely). I was tired (hardly any sleep leading up to the festival, long days, averaging about 5-6 hours sleep at night) and I missed my family. All hard stuff.

But it was worth it. In fact, its an experience I honestly can't put a monetary value on. The friendships, insight, connections, possibilities, empowerment... Simply put, its a game-changer. Again, if you're serious about what it is that you want to do, you cannot afford to miss this event next year.

Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they aint after you...

2011-10-12T12:42:00.005+01:00

Plagiarism: Its the scurge of the creative realm, according to some paranoid folk.

But are they paranoid?

Lucy V Hay believes that no one is stealing your idea . So in a bid to prove her wrong, I'm stealing her idea for a blog post about this very subject - see, plagiarism in action!

Alright, alright... Generally, on the whole, 99.999999999% of ideas are NOT ripped off. Just because you came up with this great idea, it doesn't mean somebody else isn't thinking exactly the same thought right at this very minute.

Many a time have I experienced that pang of 'THAT'S MY RUDDY IDEA!!!!!! THIEF!' whilst watching movies. So far, I can lay claim to being the original creator of such concepts as 'The Usual Suspects', 'In Time' and parts of 'Natural Born Killers'. I can lay claim, but I would be wrong-diddly-wrong. I hit on an idea - so did somebody else.

Avatar: Not Dances With Wolves.

Dances With Wolves: Not Avatar.

I recently entered the LSF's "Four Nights In August" competition. Whilst my script was heavily critical and political, the ultimate execution of the story (at least, the ending) was apparently similar to a few other submissions. Whilst I did feel a pang of 'I'm utterly unoriginal!', I actually read a couple of the entries with similar endings. Yes, we had a similar 'twist', but the scripts themselves were completely different in tone, style, voice, and commentary.

So how do we stop ourselves from being 'ripped off'? Do we just write for ourselves and refrain from showing the fruits of our labour? Of course not. A wise person once said to me (whilst stealing a quote from Freddie Mercury, I believe), 'Its no good being the greatest piano player if nobody hears you play.'

I do believe that producers, script readers and such like may read a script which subconsciously remains in their memory, only to be 'discovered' at a later point and turned into their own creation. But its in the execution where it really counts. There are plenty of films out there with GREAT ideas, but translated incredibly poorly or in an unsatisfying style.

In fact, if your idea is similar to another film, but the content is completely different, then why not tweak it and use it? I would never suggest serving up re-heated seconds, but there are some strong ideas which will run and run. It all rides on how YOU choose to expand on the idea. If its good enough, it will find its audience. Or simply say 'Fair enough, time to move on'. Use these moments of frustration to drive your desire for originality and creativity!

So send out your scripts, keep a paper trail of your ideas and various drafts, but STOP BEING PARANOID. Got it? Good.

I'll end with a story (true) about my experience with plagiarism. In 1996, I was chummy with a small-time producers who, in turn, was friends with a couple of small-to-medium sized producers. I was invited to pitch some ideas to my producer friend, and I reeled off all I could in a desperate bid to gain employment. He loved all my ideas, and was going to chat about them to his producers friends.

Weeks past, and I received a call to come in and chat. The meeting was the complete opposite of our first upbeat, friendly, excitable meeting. I sat there whilst my producer 'friend' fed-back his friends comments about my ideas. 'Rubbish'. 'Unoriginal' (see?). 'Nobody will EVER make a tv series about zombies! (HA!).

Wondering what just happened, I went home with my tail between my legs.

About a year or so later, I met up with my producer 'friend' again, as I needed to borrow a Mini DV camera for a friend. We chatted about what projects we were involved with, and I asked him about his producer friends. He said they had just made a tv pilot, and then went on to describe the idea in full, which sounded incredibly similar to an idea I had pitched him a year ago.

Even then, I was willing to accept that it could have been a coincidence. So I said to my 'friend' "That sounds very similar to an idea I pitched you a year ago..." I wasn't accusing or criticising him or his friends; simply remarking...

But my 'friend' responded in such a way that I KNEW he had stolen my idea -

"If you even THINK about suing us I will ruin your career before its even begun! Got it?"

And he was being deadly serious. And he used more F-words and a threatening tone of voice that befits a sentence such as that. BUT: The pilot didn't sell. However they chose to adapt the concept didn't work.

So there ya go: Plagiarism doesn't exist. The moral of this story is - Choose your friends wisely, stay away from coke-heads and be certain of whom you are (possibly) working with.

Lets close with two hilarious tales about plagiarism accusations gone made. Ta-Ta!

http://www.booksie.com/all/all/lubusait/steven-stealberg-hollywoods-reigning-king-of-plagiarism/nohead/pdf/ver/8

http://www.killermovies.com/forums/archive/index.php/t-342111-matrix-ripped-off-the-third-eye.html

My Entry for the London Screenwriters Festival Competition 2011

2011-10-03T19:27:00.004+01:00

Recently I wrote a one-page script called "What's Really Happening" for a competition run by the London Screenwriters Festival, based upon the riots which took place in London (and other parts of the country) in August.

I plucked for a 'commentary' as opposed to a story with twists and turns (how many can you cram into one page, anyway? Probably loads, but that's not me!), looking at probable causes; what motivated the riots, but also the stereotypes of 'urban youth' served up by the media throughout the riots.
It makes a few observations which represent how I feel about the riots, as well as community.

Anyway - read it here! *Filed under 'short films*

Paddy Considine talks (incredibly briefly) to Evermore Films!

2011-09-29T13:38:00.000+01:00

By 'eck its that Evermore Films fella... Don't make eye contact.

Evermore Films recently took part in a webchat with the one and only Mr. Paddy Considine - read the rest of the chat HERE. Meanwhile, here's Evermore's brilliantly probing question.

evermorefilms: What's your own favourite performance and why?

Paddy: "I think Romeo Brass, because I didn't know what I was doing. It may not be the smoothest performance, but it was certainly the most fun and the purest. After that, I think I started to think about it too much."

"Its all in the reflexes..."

2011-09-15T19:56:00.008+01:00

Jack Burton: Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?

My Personal Top 5 Disappointments -

PART TWO: The Legend Of Curly's Gold.

Continuing on from the incredibly well-received 'My Personal Top 5 Disappointments' (Thank you, Madenna), I thought I'd take a look at the universe. Doesn't get any bigger, does it? (well, apparently its always expanding) Anyway, here's a big question:

DOES THE UNIVERSE HATE YOU?

Yeah, you. You there. And you. (That about covers the three people who read my blog.) I read a blog post today on Lucy V Hay's "Write Here, Write Now" ; it provoked some discussion on the office pest that is Facebook: Some believe you make you're own luck, others believe we're at the mercy of a mocking universe that loves to see nice guys finish last and lazy morons rule the world. I once discussed the struggles of this life with a fellow script writer. His brilliant, deadly serious response was "If I'd known it was going to take four years then I wouldn't have bothered becoming a writer!" Its not going to take four years to be successful. Its going to take ten. Or twenty. Or maybe never.

So what's the answer? At times like this, I turn to the wisdom of 'Big Trouble In Little China's Jack Burton.

"I'm not saying that I've been everywhere and I've done everything, but I do know it's a pretty amazing planet we live on here, and a man would have to be some kind of FOOL to think we're alone in THIS universe."

Now I don't think Ol' Jack is referring to planets aligning, good/back luck, horoscopes, 7 years bad luck for breaking a mirror or any other superstitious claptrap. Nor are we puppets at the mercy of a whimsical God or objects of misfortune for Satan to toy with. Jack doesn't have all the answers, but he's content in that knowledge.

After all, Lo Pan rightfully exclaimed that Jack was not brought upon this world to 'get it'. But Jack accepts that there's a lot more going on life that is unseen to the human eye: He's never going to fully grasp it, but then again he knows he's not meant to. Regardless of your spiritual beliefs/disbeliefs, life does require us to exercise some level of faith in what we believe, our endeavors and indeed the rest of the world. Otherwise we probably wouldn't get out of bed in the morning.

So why does success elude us? True, some people seem to have amazing opportunities land in their laps - repeatedly. Others seemingly churn out the same old garbage and are continually rewarded for it. (Depressed yet?).

Then you've got those who went to Oxford or Cambridge or whatever. The 'Old Boys' network that seemingly guarantees success in life because its not what you know, its who... Some people tie themselves up in knots at this bitter, uncaring world where Adam Sandler is a box-office champion. But he is. People pay their hard-earned money to watch his movies time and time again, so good on Sandler for striking a chord with his audience. Like Jack Burton - "I don't get it" - but that's neither here nor there.

Luck is mere superstition - dedication, hard work, gifting, and networking is what its all about. And there are no guarantees of success at the end of it all. But learn from the experience as you go along. Certainly things can go right. Good stuff CAN land in your lap. But do you exclaim 'Its a conspiracy!!!!' when this happens? Some doors open, some close. There can be second, third, sixth chances. There are also one-shot deals.

1993: I was earning a pittance on a youth training scheme which was tantamount to teenage slavery (a full-time job, travel paid with about ten pounds left over at the end of the week... *shakes head*) at a video equipment hire company in Soho. I had been writing scripts for about five years; nothing serious, mainly jokey nonsense that only I found funny. But then I saw 'Reservoir Dogs' (seven times at the cinema, due to it being banned on video for years). I'd always been a huge movie fan, but this was the film that opened my eyes to structure, characters and dialogue - all the stuff that makes for a 'real' screenplay.

Much like a lot of male writers of that era, I wrote MY Reservoir Dogs. In hindsight, it wasn't much more than a fanboy rip-off with a few good shoot outs and the odd funny line. But I had been inspired to up my game. And so I put more effort into broadening my horizons; reading McKee and Goldman, going to script writing courses and trying to improve.

"Are you crazy? Is that your problem?"

But what really inspired me was another film fan. I'm not about to name names or embarrass anyone, but credit where its due. I had read in 'Empire Magazine' that Quentin Tarantino was appearing at a cinema in Nottingham, introducing a season of Harvey Keitel films. Sounds great, but Nottingham was miles away. I'd never get there. Then 'film fan' said 'You should go'. Hanging on their every word and taking their encouragement, I asked my Dad to drive me to Nottingham on a complete whim (not too dissimilar to Ray Kinsella trying to convince Terrence Mann to go on a road trip with him in 'Field Of Dreams'). There was no guarantee that I would see or speak to QT. All I could do is follow Jack Burton's mantra: "What the hell."

I sat in a Nottingham cinema foyer for almost two hours. No Tarantino, and the hour was late. With some unusual forethought, I had printed out a short screenplay and a cover letter: In case I couldn't speak with QT, I could give him a brown envelope filled with creative brilliance. So I waited.... and waited.... My Dad says 'five more minutes and we're leaving'. Just then, QT steps through a door, surrounded by a small entourage. He's walking across the foyer towards the exit. This is the time to jump.

I found my legs carrying me towards Tarantino; my brain seriously questioning what I'm doing. I follow him out to his waiting car. As I approach, Tarantino gets in the car. Door shut. I speak to his assistant, explaining who I am, why I'm here etc... His assistant abruptly, and somewhat understandably, told me to 'go away' very impolitely.

All the while, Tarantino is gesturing through his backseat window. The message gets to his assistant, who informs me that QT will be returning to the cinema in 90 minutes. But I have to go home. I didn't have 90 minutes. I had a somewhat tired and bored Dad (who had to work that night) sat in the cinema foyer. As I watched QT's car drive off, a moment of clarity and extreme bullshit crossed my mind.

I paced back into the cinema and approached an employee; brown envelope in hand.

ME: "Can you give this to Quentin when he returns? Its very important that he gets it."
CINEMA DUDE: "Does he know what it is?"
ME: "YES. Yes he does."
And that was that. The moment was over. Months passed.

Six months, to be precise. I'm at home watching 'This Morning' (as you'll realise by now, I was a big fan of Fred the Weatherman). I'm lounging on the floor; my mum's ironing. The phone rings. I answer.

"Hi, is that Andy?"
"Yeah?"
"Hi, its Quentin Tarantino!"
*stunned silence, eventually followed by*
"Oh.... Hello."

"Oh.... Hello." Genius. My mind certainly wasn't thinking 'Oh hello'. It was more like something along the lines of 'Oh ******************'. Turns out that QT had recently moved apartment, and found my brown envelope full of greatness in one of the moving boxes. He read it, and felt compelled to call me.

We chatted for about 30 minutes, about life, love and the as-then unreleased Pulp Fiction. Heck, he even asked me how a date went (for some utterly unknown reason, I'd happened to mention in my letter that I was going to see 'The Last Days Of Chez Nous' with an actual real girl). I'm talking about my love life with Tarantino. Uh huh.

The conversation closed naturally, and I asked if I could send him some more of my work. He agreed, gave me an address, told me what to write on the cover letter... all the while I'm thinking "This is it, son, this is the big one!"

And that was that. Never heard from him again.

I spent, in fantastic hindsight, a stupid amount of time chasing this. Before the days of the internet, all I could do was write to his publicist Bumble Ward. No reply. QT was in London a few years later at the NFT. I went along with the same intentions as before: Pretty much hanging out in the foyer/semi-stalking. After all, it worked before. An employee offered me a free ticket to watch QT in discussion. Great!

Afterwards, QT was signing books - but you could only get a face to face if you bought a book from him. Fair enough, BUT: - did I want to use this opportunity to plug my work? After all, I was a professional. There's a time and a place, and queuing up like the rest of the audience, well, that was beneath me. Me 'n QT, we're not 'fans', we're industry people, right?

Years later, the internet came along. Suddenly I had the possibility of a direct e-mail connection with Bumble. So I emailed.... and I got a reply. And it was positive. Great! Now to follow this up... Her e-mail address stopped working. Huh? Prowling the internet, I discovered news stories about Bumble Ward's unexpected departure from showbiz. Just like that, she decided she didn't want to be a publicist on the red carpet until she was 90. Go girl! But how does that help me?!!!!

"I'm a reasonable guy. I've just experienced some very unreasonable things."

After ten years, I'd drawn a blank. Or had I? Actually, no. What I'd done is put my faith in Quentin Tarantino; a film maker who doesn't know or give two monkeys who I am, but was kind enough to phone me one day. He wasn't the answer to my career problems; my lack of success at script writing. Lots of people told me I should keep chasing, but I knew in my heart that it was a fruitless task. Regardless of his success, pinning my success on him was not the answer.

By this point, my taste in films and writing had changed substantially - whilst I love 'Jackie Brown', my style is more 'Sideways', 'Withnail And I' and 'Heathers'. But it goes beyond personal taste: The lesson for me was the ago-old 'be true to thine self': Why be QT Part 2 when I can be me, with my own take on things? Making an idol of Tarantino was not going to solve all my problems.

So what positives did I learn from this?

1. Be yourself: Write what you like, what you know, what you want to watch. And enjoy it.

2. Doors did open. I'd be lying if I said I didn't get a few jobs off the back of all this. I gained my first A.D. job because my story intrigued the line producer.

(Having said all this, I also received a blunt, sarcastic rejection from Danny Cannon himself when Judge Dredd was in production. Turns out he was also at the very same Nottingham cinema and I'd name-checked the OTHER famous film director. Ooops.)

Working as an A.D. motivated me to make my own films, which in turn brought about a whole new set of events... *to be continued*

3. Chances are there to be taken. The world doesn't owe you, nor is it constantly against you: So be careful when the 'inner voice' tries to convince you of this.

3. Finally, I'd like to end on a suitable quote from ol' Jack....

"You know what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like this?

When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck,

taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall,

and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues,

you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember

what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that:

"Have ya paid your dues, Jack?"

"Yessir, the check is in the mail."

"The First Casualty of War is... Innocence..."

2011-08-29T16:33:00.003+01:00

Even the poster cries 'nostalgia!!!!!'

... So declared the poster for Oliver Stone's 1986 masterpiece 'Platoon'.

And how true when it comes to this year's summer blockbuster 'Super 8'. Before I continue, I must state that I loved 'Super 8'. I had issues with certain aspects, but on the whole I loved it. Which says a lot in this day and age: Its an increasing rare occurrence these days when I buy a DVD of a recent release. I'm mostly buying 80's movies - possibly as its a nice, comforting, melancholy trip down memory lane; revisiting my youth etc.

But the same can be said about 'Super 8'. The best thing about it was the feeling of nostalgia. Not in the sense of, say, 'Stand By Me' (with lots of 1950's music etc.), but a nostalgia for cinema itself, and the rare sense of wonder that movies can produce. But I suspect director J.J. Abrams may have been attempting to emulate the 'magic' of Spielberg's early films - in particular 'E.T.' and 'Close Encounters Of The Third Kind'.

Super 8: Still better than Mini DV.

Here's what J.J. had to say about 'Super 8's' origins:

J.J. Abrams: "‘Super 8′ came out of two separate ideas. One was an idea of doing a film about kids making super 8 movies in the late 70’s, early 80’s. And the other one was an idea of a monster movie that I’d had. One was a group of characters I had loved, but without a story that I thought would compel people to go and see it. And the other was a compelling premise but with no original characters. So I kind of combined the two and found that they serviced each other in a cool way."

For those who haven't seen 'Super 8', I won't go into spoilers - its a film best viewed with little pre-viewing information.

For those who have seen it: Upon reflection, I'm left wondering if 'Super 8' needed the 'mystery thing'-element. Was the film good enough on its own i.e. the kids making a movie. Sure, its a summer event movie, and without the 'mystery thing', it wouldn't be an action/adventure/sci-fi movie. And while it was great watching all the explosions and effects, I felt the audience was missing out on the characters: The interaction between the kids was pretty much jettisoned when the aforementioned 'thing' entered the story; to the point where the kids ran around together as this unified clump: There was precious little room for the individual.

The kid in the yellow coat is now running Hollywood...

I was also questioning if the 'magic' I was watching was actually genuine, or was it just a Spielbergian wannabe, with all its lens flare and squabbling family dinner times... My conclusion is that 'Super 8' is an homage to Spielberg, and should have been more of its own original movie. And no, the 'mystery thing', as intriguing as the build-up was, didn't deliver the goods.

So why am I saying 'Its the blockbuster film of 2011'?

Its fair to say that 2011 has not been a great year for big movies. With the exception of 'Thor', the blockbuster season has been awash with 'okay' movies - but nothing outstanding. 'Captain America' was fun yet undemanding: A superhero movie which doesn't know what to do with a hero who has nothing particularly unique about him. 'Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes': Great FX, but cardboard characters and a distinct lack of any 'Planet' of so-called Apes. (Taking over a bridge does not count.)

Without its setting, backstory and characters, 'Super 8' would have easily fallen into 'just okay'. But its the emotional core that speaks to us and sticks with us long after the FX have dated. So lets have more of that, please...

Looking on with anticipation:
Can the studio system deliver a blockbuster with FX AND heart?

Show me the....

2011-08-05T14:46:00.000+01:00

Attack of the Clowns...

MONEY. Never let it be the centre of your existence, but we all need it, right? And sometimes people need help raising money.

UK Film maker Graham Inman is currently running an incredibly successful IndieGoGo campaign for the Leilani Holmes-produced / Damien Cullen-directed short film 'Clowning Around'. Read all about it here.

You can contribute as little as ONE DOLLAR to assist in the creation of their project - or $10, $25, $50 and so on if you're feeling generous - each stage of giving offers you something in return, too (the more you give, the greater the return).

So why should you contribute? The team of people involved in this project are looking to create a quality, world-class production - They have the talent and the ability, and whilst they have contacts and are no doubt pulling in all the favours and help they can - these things always require money. So if you have an interest in cinema and a passion for getting involved, head over to the 'Clowning Around' site.

"DISAPPOINTED."

2011-08-04T15:57:00.002+01:00

Otto is not a happy bunny.

I recently read a post on Dominic Carver's blog (Its an old post, but I just discovered it! Finger on the pulse as ever.) about his disappointment at not winning the Red Planet script competition a year or so ago (Read it HERE.)

Being only too aware of his pain, it put me in a reflective mood. Whilst I would generally agree that dwelling on the past is not constructive and that its good to let rejection go and move on, there are lessons to be gleaned from such disappointment, as well as positive outcomes which may not be so evident at times of crashing disasters.

My personal Top 5 Disappointments - PART ONE:

LEAVING SCHOOL

My lasting memory of my final day at school was the look on my geography teacher's face when I answered his question "What job are you going to do after leaving school?" - "I want to work in special effects in films."

Of course.

And I gave it a good shot, being a kid who had extremely unremarkable exam results. I had always been fascinated by films (ever since witnessing a scene from 'An American Werewolf In London' - the bit where the guy at the tube station is chased. ITV chose to show this scene at lunchtime. I was about five years old. No wonder it stuck in my head...)

Not suitable for five year olds.

Anyway, to a film-obsessed teenager as I was at the time, I loved special effects in movies. To me, they were always the best parts of any movie (Rob Bottin's work in 'The Thing' being the ultimate, genius masterpiece of FX work ever). FX scenes were the classic parts that everyone talked about after the film had finished, the parts where you could let your imagination run wild (I was twelve. What did I know? Upon reflection, it was probably all to do with attention seeking...). I wanted to work in films. And FX, to me, was where it was at.

'One of these things is not like the other....'

I spent months writing to every production company and celebrity in the UK. I was young, naive, and it was 1991. I had a lot of positive replies, but not enough to secure regular employment. Reaching the end of my tether (and my parents tether, too), I had exhausted every avenue - apart from college. Having spent a large part of my early years hating school, this was not an idea I cherished.

Then my Mum mentioned that she had watched an interview on ITV-daytime staple 'This Morning'. Apparently Fred The Weather man had interviewed some guy who did effects on Star Wars. I had no idea who this person was, so I wrote to Fred The Weatherman (I don't think I actually wrote that on the envelope?), and asked for more info on this SPFX guy.

A few weeks later, the phone rings. Its Fred. He tells me that he's passed my letter on to the FX guy. Brilliant. What a dude. Fred ended the conversation with the immortal words "Better go, I need to get on my map."

Fred: A giant among (weather) men.

The FX Guy was also known as Chris Tucker. No, not the helium-voiced actor, just as Captain America does not also present the breakfast show on Radio Two. Chris Tucker did indeed provide effects for Star Wars, as well as The Company Of Wolves, Dune, The Elephant Man and a multitude of other movies. More weeks went by, until I received a call from Chris's assistant. It was a very positive chat, and I was invited down to Chris's house (which turned out to be a mansion in the woods, somewhere in Pangbourne).

Meeting Chris was a slightly different affair. He was a lovely person, very generous with his time, but as a 16 year old preparing to fall into his dream job, I was slightly stunned at his advice: "Go to college, kid - there's absolutely no work in the U.K." Chris went on to say how most of his work was with Bollywood, as our UK cinematic empire was all but dust and bones.

The disappointment was slightly lessened when Chris showed me around his FX room - I got to see Laurence Olivier's head! - but I eventually trundled home feeling none the wiser and more depressed. Around this time, I had purchased a very detailed (and expensive) FX make-up book, and had attempted sculpting (at the advice of Chris Tucker). It became very clear to me that FX people have a gift that I simply do not possess. I can draw a little, but I'm not an artist. These people were artists, and I simply wasn't in their league.

After some more weeks, I volunteered at a theatre on the reasoning that I might as well be doing something useful. Whilst working there, I met somebody who mentioned a college course they had signed up for (doing theatre sound design). I looked into the college, and discovered they also ran a video & tv course.

So I joined, and in my first few months at college, I was taught by tv writer David Hansen. It was the first time in years that I found anything education-related interesting. It also occurred to me that I had been writing short scripts and a couple of feature lengths scripts in my spare time - but only as a hobby/something for my own amusement. David was encouraging towards my very-silly-teenage-boy-scripts, and lo the germ of a notion formed into words akin to 'What if I wrote a real, proper script? With a story of some sort and characters that didn't have comedy names?'

And so I took writing seriously. I'd always loved writing and making my own books... Heck, I even won an award at school for the ingenious, imaginatively witty James Bond spoof 'Brooke Bond', which featured lots of tea/coffee-brand related character names (I was twelve at the time and should have probably known better, even at that age.). A year later, I had written my first 'real' screenplay. With a sense of achievement, I was ready to take on the world.

King of the world... for the next ten minutes.

COMING SOON: Episode Two - More Disappointment.

"Its not your job to be as confused as Nigel!"

2011-06-29T15:28:00.000+01:00

"No one knows who they were or what they were doing..."

Many years ago, I was asked to help out on a promotional film - You know the sort: They make an advert of the film they intend to make, then show the trailer to potential investors etc. Never a good idea in my book, as the 'fake trailer' will never be fully representative of the finished feature film. In fact, it can have a detrimental effect: If your trailer looks cheap (because you don't have a budget), then your feature's prospects do not look rosy.

So I agreed to be the sound man/boom op for the trailer - for free (it was all last-minute rush-rush, and I figured it could be interesting). I arrive on location at an abattoir, somewhere in saaaarf Laaaandon. I'm the first person there... An hour later, I'm still the first person there. Hmm. Finally, the crew roll up in dribs and drabs; vans arrive and equipment is unloaded.

I meet the producer - my point of contact - and he thanks me for coming aboard at short notice. He leads me through to the equipment: There is a mountain of flight cases, tripods, dollys, jibs, mics, camera equipment...
Like a Terminator reeling off his shopping list of Uzi 9mm's and Phased plasma rifles in the 40-watt range, the producer had plucked every bit of equipment off the shelf. So why was I working for free, again?

Termy buys up the shop; Dick Miller buys the farm.

Anyway, I grabbed a mic from a selection of FOUR (we were shooting in doors, at a single location), found an SQN mixer... but nothing to record on to. I asked the producer how they were planning on recording sound - His response was to look at me, incredulous. So I asked again. "Well, you plug the mic into the camera!"

They were shooting on 16mm film.

After I explained that 16mm doesn't record sound as well as picture, things suddenly got serious. It was a Sunday; most hire companies were shut. The producer fled in search of a DAT machine whilst the camera crew shot the sequence - minus sound. The steadi-cam shot was rehearsed; I made a note of every sound I could hear... and waited for my DAT machine.

Eight hours later, the producer returns with a DAT machine. The shoot was drawing to an end, so I quickly got set up and ready to go. I re-created the route taken by the camera operator, recording all of the sounds (machinery, doors opening etc.) - but all I could hear was voices. People going home. Flight cases loading into vans. Pizza orders being shouted out. After the fifth time of calling for quiet, I managed one decent take of sound. Desperate to go home, I handed the DAT tape to the director and scarpered.

Monday morning, I received a call from the producer - 'Where's the DAT tape?'

Me: 'I gave it to Herr Director.'

Producer: 'Oh...'

Months later, I saw the trailer online: Minus sound, with b-movie 'horror' music playing over the images. Needless to say, it lost its impact and did not sell the film at all.

"You want a Pepsi Free, Pal, you've gotta pay for it!"

So what can be salvaged from this experience?

Equipment: You do not need to spend a small fortune on equipment for your film. Do your research; understand exactly what you need and don't need. Do not get a gadget fetish.

Sound: Its crucial. Bad sound will ruin your movie. No sound will result in dodgy library music.

Crew: Treat your cast and crew with respect, especially if they are working for free.

Finally: If you can pay for equipment hire costs, you can pay cast/crew expenses at the very least.

"Y'know, these work..."

2011-06-27T10:29:00.001+01:00

Lieutenant Ed Traxler: Nowt wrong with his specs.

Repeat after me: "Show. Don't tell."

Yes, we get it. Nobody likes to read in a script (or see an actor reeling out) exposition and plot reminders again and again. That's not to say you can't ever do that - used sparingly, or in a comedic way, it can work. (e.g. The Terminator: Lance Henriksen's cop reels off a load of info for OUR benefit, and his boss Traxler gives him a wry slap-upside the head. Genius.)

Its a good rule to try to avoid patronising your audience. But I often find its easier said than done.

Having spent the past six weeks script editing my completed works, I've found polishing dialogue and perfecting character motivation the most challenging part of writing a script. Its where the hard work really comes in, constantly asking yourself 'How can I make this flow better, or at least in a more challenging or original way?' Not that everything I write is dire, I hasten to add/protest too much: But its having that inner 'coach' voice that pushes and drives you to improve: The literary version of 'Gimme 50 more laps!'

And then I watch a tv show like 'Treme'. Now I know I've been evangelical about this show: Tough! I'm not kidding, they should be handing out the scripts to film students, or at least make them available to buy. Its that good. In a couple of the latter episodes, I witnessed a couple of scenes that were so simple but effective - and a good example of 'less is more'.

Davis & Annie: Will they, won't they?

Firstly, there's an episode that centres around a Mardi Gras parade. Local DJ and general hyperactive loudmouth Davis crosses paths with street violinist Annie. They have a nice day together, and get on great. Later in the day, there comes a moment where you think Davis and Annie might make a cute couple - at least that's the look on their faces. And then Davis pulls out a joint, sparks up and offers it to Annie.

Unbeknownst to Davis, but known to the audience, Annie is struggling with a drug-addicted boyfriend. And for the time being, it derails any possibility of a blossoming romance. And its all said and done with a look.

Big Chief: 'Nuff Said.

Next up: Albert/Chief leads his clan through the streets, only to come up against another 'rival' procession: Things look heated. The two clan chiefs face-off, but ultimately show each other respect and pass-by peacefully. Later on, Albert and his clan come up against a group of aggressive cops. After a brief shout-down, one of the cops informs his colleagues to back off: Show respect to tradition. A lovely mirroring of a previous scene - one for the spirit world, the other for the real world. Again, not much is said, but having been informed that the first face-off was about showing respect, then second face-off has a deeper relevance.

Now where can I get my hands on those 'Treme' scripts?

"I'll show you the life of the mind!"

2011-06-20T14:45:00.003+01:00

Jack Lipnick: Not one of those guys who thinks poetic has got to be fruity.

Jack Lipnick:

"We're only interested in one thing, Bart. Can you tell a story?

Can you make us laugh? Can you make us cry?

Can you make us want to break out in joyous song?

Is that more than one thing? Okay!"

Following on from the second biggest question in the universe "Why should your feature-length screenplay be made for a cinematic release?", I thought I'd stare deeper into the abyss and ask 'What is drama?'

A visual depiction of desperate times.

I recently read a great blog post by Filmutopia about drama vs. conflict.Or rather, drama is NOT about conflict: Its about what's at stake. The cost. What our 'hero' stands to lose. Then comes the varying levels of jeopardy: What is physically and emotionally at stake; relationships, career, sanity etc. And THEN what happens if our 'hero' has to choose between these treasured pathways?

A few years ago, when I was having one of those desperate 'Where is it all going?' moments, I wrote to director, writer and producer Walter Hill for advice. And why not? Made perfect sense at the time. "I'm stuck. There's no way out. Let's ask the man who is the master of 'No Way Out-ness.'"

So I asked Walter for his opinion on what makes a good film. The reply was most definitely from the man responsible for such classics as 'Southern Comfort', '48HRS', 'The Long Riders', 'Trespass', 'Red Heat', and most special of all - 'The Warriors'. (Not forgetting that he also produced the 'Alien' movies.)

Walter Hill: Can you dig it!

"There's an old quote of Howard Hawks I always liked,
when asked 'What is drama?', he answered,

'Will he live or will he die, that's drama.'

I humbly agree.

Keep writing, good luck in the jungle."

So there you have it. In a precise little nutshell.
Don't get caught up on time-filling incidentals - ALWAYS concentrate on what's at stake.

Pop quiz, hotshot...

2011-06-19T16:54:00.001+01:00

... You receive good feedback from the BBC regarding your commercial feature length screenplay 'Viktorialand', but the closing comment is: "Why should your script be made for a cinematic release?" What do you do?

Its a question that stumped me, if I'm honest. My initial response is 'Why should ANY feature length script be made for cinema?' Most films could work as a tv series or a one-off drama. Likewise, a lot of tv shows have cinematic quality (HBO shows in particular).

On Saturday I went to a screening of 'Swinging With The Finkels' at the Apollo Cinema in London (a 'Script to Screen' event, hosted by Chris Jones). Find out more here!

'Finkels' Director Jonathan Newman

After the screening, 'Finkels' director Jonathan Newman discussed his journey as a film maker. His honest account of his experience was great to hear, and its fair to say he's had an amazing couple of years. After the screening, I grabbed five minutes with Jonathan, and I put to him the question that the BBC asked me:

What makes a feature length script worthy of a cinematic release?

Why not tv?

We have more of a 'television industry' in this country as opposed to a 'film industry'.
Do ideas have to be BIG for a cinematic release?
Is TV for telling, and cinema for showing?
Is it about how the script is shot?
Is it about big name actors in starring roles?
What about all those films we've seen where not much happens, but its a GREAT film?

'The Walking Dead': Cinematic in scope...

The Kings Speech: As not seen premiering on BBC4.

I've come round to the idea of television being a good home for certain projects of mine. Even those hard-sell projects which tv wouldn't know what to do with - why not make them as a web-series? Why is cinema our ultimate goal?

'Another Year': Oscar-nommed slice of reality.

Take Mike Leigh's "Another Year". Great film, loved it, and it was up for some Oscars too, if my memory serves me correctly. But ask me what its about. Well, not much. Sure, stuff happens in the story, but the brilliance of it was spending a couple of hours with characters that you could relate to, and it was an emotional, poignant, enjoyable experience. But why was it made for cinema? It could have been a tv drama on BBC 4. Recently, Gareth Unwin (producer of 'The Kings Speech') revealed the original intention for his Oscar-gobbling project was precisely that: Television.

Its a difficult question with no clear, obvious answer. It made me step back and look at my script 'Viktorialand': Could it be a tv series? A one-off comedy/relationship drama? In my mind, I picked the story apart; adapted it into various formats - but each time it lost something. And the only answer I had as to why it wouldn't work as good on television, web, etc. - Because it is meant to be a film. Some scripts are meant for the cinema - so its my word against yours!

Yup, it all boils down to force of personality. If you're passionate enough, then you go for it. People might disagree strongly with you. You might not get the budget you want, or enough time to develop it fully (If someone approaches you saying 'I have a few million to spend of a film - will you be ready to shoot in seven months? You say 'YES!'). Your project might go straight to DVD and bypass the cinema altogether. But it is still a feature film. And that's what being a Guerilla film maker is - listening to and weighing opinion, but also being assured of your own.

Bueller... Bueller... Bueller: He did it his way...

Down In The Treme... We're All Goin' Crazy...

2011-06-16T14:46:00.003+01:00

Being a huge fan of HBO's 'The Wire' (apart from series 5: They dropped the ball IMHO), I looked forward to settling into 'Treme'; a post-disaster New Orleans-based story about how real lives are affected by the floods and how they are left to pick up the pieces of their lives.

This is what Lester Freamon gets up to when he's not
building miniature furniture.

Once again, I'm left with the same thought that I had when 'The Wire' ended: Why can't we make television drama like HBO in the U.K.? Okay, HBO has the budget and all that, and I'm not about to start knocking Brit-TV Drama - we've had plenty of successes in our time - but with both instances, 'The Wire' and 'Treme' show a reality that rarely hits our screens. A humanity. Its gives time and space for the characters to unfold - not in a pretentious, drawn-out way - but it has a clear love for their people, even down to the one-liner bit-parts. And above all - it all feels necessary.

Cheeky womaniser Antoine Batiste

Bunk Moreland: No relation.

I recently watched a labyrinthine UK drama which was strung out over many episodes, when it could have been told in about, oooh, three episodes. The critics loved it - "nevermind the quality - feel the width", they chimed. Sure, the first few episodes held my attention. But then it 'gave time' to its characters - and they didn't have much to say for themselves. Suddenly, it was all looking one-note and repetitive; a self-spoof.

Like 'The Wire', 'Treme' has a lot of atmosphere. Its not about pace, storylines and what-not: But you actually care about the characters: The good and the not-so-good.

So take time to soak it up - nevermind the width, feel the quality.

Back to life, back to reality...

2011-06-06T14:36:00.004+01:00

...Back from planet film.

Chris Jones with 'The Kings Speech' producer & writer
Gareth Unwin & David Seidler

After spending two days and one evening in the company of Chris Jones and hundreds of film makers, I've got the same feeling that I get when I've finished shooting a film. Some of you may know that feeling: Its been hard work, tiring, challenging, educational, energising, inspiring, motivating... and a great reminder of WHY we ride the rollercoaster.

That's me, under the big red arrow...

I won't go into detail too much about what Chris spoke about - If you want useful tips, just go on the seminar next time Chris runs it. If you're serious about making films, you really have got no excuses. You simply cannot afford not to go. Yes, the days were very long, but the ground covered was immense. And most importantly, it wasn't two days of someone blowing hot air up your backside - it was sound, career-changing advice and opinion.

That's me in the corner... Well, towards the right...

Most importantly for me, the reason for going was utterly affirmed:

Should I still keep trying?
Why do I want to be a film maker?

In the past, I've had:
The joy of creating a film, from script through to the edited film itself
The pleasure of meeting and working with some very talented, lovely people
The chance to go to places that I'd never normally go
The buzz and excitement of being on-set
The Quentin Tarantino phone call (or OMG Part 1)
The Terry Gilliam phone call (or OMG Part 2)
The Fred The Weather Man (from 'This Morning') phone call (or 'Excuse me, I need to get back on my weather map now!')

I've also had:
The on-set mutiny
The six-police-cars-arriving-on-location-induced panic attack
The firing the lead actor a week before the shoot
The second on-set mutiny (quashed before it got any legs)
The script not being ready to shoot
The why-is-there-no-audio-adaptor, hire company?
The colossal confrontations
The personal disappointment
The disappointment of friends and others
The disappearing 'friends'
The rejection and unwarranted judgment
The immense self-doubt

But: I'm still here.

I've had some horrendous times making films. I made some wrong choices. I was also at the mercy of uncontrollable elements. I've also had some of the best times of my life making films.

Hearing the trials of Chris Jones's career was pretty much a cathartic experience. Having had my guts kicked out and jumped up and down on whilst making films, I feel restored after last weekend's seminar. Like the cowardly lion after a trip to see the Wiz, I've been put back together. I know WHY I want to do this (and its not fame, money, peer recognition, proving myself or any of that stuff Chris wrote on the white board). Its because I simply have to do it. I've got stories to tell, and they need to be communicated to an audience.

I'm an 'end of stage 2-looking to start stage 3' film maker: I've worked as an A.D., I've made my own short and feature length films, have made tons of mistakes and have learned a lot from them. I'm now looking to make that 'Stage 3' quality short film.

So next year marks 'The Year Of The Shorts'.

The plan is to make two high-quality short films, get back on and ride that pony, Sheriff!

"Do it if you have the guts!" AKA "New decade.... New Rules.... Better haircuts."

2011-04-23T19:36:00.002+01:00

*****SPOILERIFIC POST ABOUT SCREAM 4 - DON'T MOAN AT ME FOR GIVING AWAY THE ENDING, ALRIGHT?**********

Those were the days.

What's the best way to chill out on a hot day? Go to the cinema. See something a bit edgy for extra chilliness.
So me 'n Stu met up for a few ciders before traipsing off to a not very good multiplex (Vue @ Romford - sticky, STICKY floors, blurry screen. Not a good combo). Our film of choice was Scream 4 (or Scre4m, according to the film makers. Never liked numbers in titles - a trend started by the equally daft-monikered 'Se7en'. Se-seven-en?).

Why did we see this film, even though we both knew it was going to be at least a bit rubbish? Because we felt like we owed it to the other three. I never saw the first installment at the cinema (which I absolutely love - watched it last week, and it still holds up as a fresh, funny film), but I did see 'Scream 2' (which runs on its own hype - it has energy, but also has too many characters that do precious little. And killing off Randy was never a good idea. As soon as he died, the humour went with him.) and 'Scream 3' (which overdoses on its own in-jokes and ends up playing like an episode of Scooby-Doo.)

Ghostface never misses a photo opportunity.

So, part 4.... Kicks off as per every installment, with the pre-title murders. Only this time it plays out like an over-stretched Monty Python joke. Meanwhile, I'm hoping that none of the other 5 or 6 people in the cinema are going to act out any Scream fantasies - this is why me and scary films don't mix. Anyway, so far, so 'hmmmm'. But then Hayden Panettiere shows up. Or rather her haircut does. Suddenly, the film improves. Some one-dimensional characters die in not particularly creative ways, and our trio of survivors are wheeled out once more. Sidney has written a book on her experiences, which to me doesn't fit her character - If she had any sense, she'd keep her head down. Dewey and Gale's marriage is as dry as a biscuit (Given the Arquette's recent split, it certainly adds a bizarre depth to their on-screen partnership). Dewey is now the sheriff, and Gale is a bored housewife.

Do I like scary movies? Did you not notice my haircut?

The only new characters with any spark are Charlie and Kirby, played by Rory Culkin and Hayden Panettiere: Both elevate their characters with edgy performances and choice haircuts. Seriously, the cheerleader from 'Heroes' is wearing that haircut. Anyway, more people die, Sidney never thinks to jump on the next plane to Marrakesh, the big reveal happens, and we discover that the only way to make Scream 4 fresh was to remake the original but with added role-reversal. As for their motive - They did it because they wanted to be famous? Wasn't that Mickey's reason for killing his friends in part 2? If not, it was flippin' close to it. Anyway, the film almost ends on a risky, daring note: ALMOST.

Do it if you have the guts. Or maybe not.

The film feels like some choice decisions WERE made, but then were RE-SHOT when test audiences didn't like seeing their favourites die. I'll admit, I went to see this film on the basis of 'Are they going to kill Dewey/Sid/Gale'? Even in the trailer, there's a clip of Gale - about to be knifed - saying 'Do it if you have the guts'. I'm pretty sure I'm right in saying this, but I don't remember seeing this moment in the film. And there's nothing that bugs me more than seeing stuff in trailers that isn't in the actual film itself. (Okay, other things DO bug me more... just sayin', like...). And I seem to recall seeing a still from the film with a body hanging from the ceiling - ALSO NOT IN THE FILM.

As not seen in Scream 4.

Scream 4 felt like a movie that was going to have balls - but the makers lost their nerve. Killing off the main three characters felt like the thing to do - and The Bitter Script Reader's blog makes some good points about why they should have gone through with it.

http://thebitterscriptreader.blogspot.com/2011/04/scream-4-when-core-character-needs-to.html

But to me, killing off Sid, Gale or Dewey wasn't the answer. In fact, killing off your stalwarts can sometimes have a detrimental effect to the previous entries. Think Ripley in Alien 3. Okay, ballsy, somewhat inevitable ending, but it undid a lot of good work in Alien and Aliens. When I watch those movies now, they feel a little redundant because you know in part 3, Ripley buys the farm. So offing Scream main trio would have lessened the previous entries. What, in my opinion, was required was DECENT STORYLINES.

All Dewey has to keep himself busy in Scream 4 is show up at crime scenes, or be seen driving to them at speed. Gale does even less. Their characters feel stale because they've been given nothing to do. Thats no reason to kill them off; because they've served their purpose and the writer doesn't know what to do with them. The best answer is: Don't use these characters any more - move on, get fresh blood in, so to speak. The Scream movies work best when its kids in peril whilst being smart-arses. Killing off all the new characters was not a smart move. Its always better to keep a couple of the more likable new characters alive, for sequel purposes. When the same 3 people are alive at the end of each film, it gets a little tiresome. Much like Jack Bauer in '24'. But that show wouldn't work without Jack. Scream movies CAN work without Sid, Gale and Dewey.

New Stu, New Randy, New Casey, New Tatum

By now you probably think that I hate Scream 4. I don't, actually. It was nonsense, but enjoyable, watchable nonsense. Yes, each approaching death scene is signposted in big neon letters, but there were a few fun moments, a couple of laughs, and some great haircuts (okay, I'm stopping now). The films have always been more about mis-direction than anything else, and Scream 4 certainly offers an array of possible killers. Is it an essential addition to the series? It plays better than parts 2 and 3, but its a pity that a lot of potential went untapped. Still, it wasn't half as bad as I feared it would be. 3 out of 5.

Too much, too young...

2011-04-13T11:55:00.002+01:00

Whilst listening to the numerous ways to create and market your movie @ AI Day, my mind drifted to a thought that's been following me around for a few months: Is there such a thing as over-saturation when it comes to promoting a movie?

I've been a film fan for as long as I can remember, and as a kid (back in the 80's), the few promotional outlets were:

Barry Norman on Film-whichever year it was.

Bus Stops

Massive billboards on the A13

The cinema foyer

Trailers before movies

Adverts in newspapers.

As my interest in films grew, I would buy Photoplay, Starburst, Time Out, before moving onto the staple diet of Empire, Neon (which lasted for about a year: Shame.), and Total Film.

"With the advent of the world wide web" (tm), access to movie news has reached the point where you can, say, download the script of 'Inglorious Basterds' (or however QT spells the bloomin' thing) BEFORE he even had the finance secured.

Which poses a question: Whatever happened to the mystery?

The first time I knew ANYTHING about 'Ghostbusters': I stood at the bus stop outside Collier Row community centre, seeing the GB logo and the words "Who Ya Gonna Call?". That was it. I had no idea what it meant, but I wanted to know more. Then came the bus stop posters for 'Highlander' and 'Extreme Prejudice'. Again, me: stood there, admiring the artwork, trying to work out what the film was about.

Going back to the start of it all when I was about 3 or 4, I can remember being at a tube station, seeing the poster for 'Moonraker'. Roger Moore in a silver space suit: SOLD! But there was also a downside to this: Seeing Jack Nicholson's sweaty, mad-eyed stare through a smashed-through door for 'The Shining', or the wolf extreme close up for 'An American Werewolf In London' was enough to give me nightmares (hey, I was 5.) Worst offender was a schlocky horror film called 'Rosemary's Killer', which had a huge cardboard cut-out display in the cinema foyer - unpleasant to see at any age. (Another subject I will cover soon) Even up to the point where stepping off a tube train to be confronted by a huuuuuuuge poster for 'The Abyss', with its endless depths of blue was simultaneously awe-striking and dread-filling.

Maybe I'm being a melancholy, sentimental old duffer (ME?) or having some kind of mid-life crisis, but I do miss the days when I felt genuine intrigue and excitement towards new releases. Yes I'm a film fan, and its part of my nature to want to know about what films are being made, but we've all seen those trailers that give away the ENTIRE plot of the film. The trailers ends, and we mutter 'Okay, don't need to see that now'. So much coverage/hype is given to these big movies (Empire, I'm looking at you), that by the time they come around, these essential, must-see movies seem stale. I'm bored of hearing about it. And on top of this, Empire gives the movie 2 stars (End of Empire bashing).

Of course movies need promotion, otherwise we (the audience) wouldn't have a clue. But as Ted Hope related on the AI Day - The trailer for 'The Shining' stuck in his mind for months, because all it showed was a steadi-cam shot of the hotel carpet, reaching those elevator doors... then the doors open and... (no spoilers). The imagery leaves you with a sense of 'What the heck was that about? And when can I find out?'

Same goes for the trailers for Alien (and Aliens - although a direct copy of its predecessor's trailer) - the close-up of the egg cracking, the mysterious light shafting outwards; the haunting, bewildering howls of SOMETHING...

So my question is: Are movies losing their mystery?

AMERICAN INDEPENDENT'S DAY (AIDay) 10th of April 2011

2011-04-13T10:10:00.002+01:00

It is a couple of days since I attended the American Independent's day at Regent's College, London, and I have to say - I am still buzzing!

Christine Vachon, Ted Hope and a whole bunch of filmy people.

There were (at a guess) around 100 people, all at different places in their careers, and it made for a fun atmosphere. There were no ego's on show - just people with a common interest: Making films.

Our host Chris Jones did a splendid job organising the event - hats off to you, Chris - and the venue was a great choice.

As long a day as it was (10 am - 5 pm), it was never dull, as American indie producers Christine Vachon (Kids, Far From Heaven, Boys Don't Cry, Cracks, Mildred Pierce) and Ted Hope (Adventureland, Super, American Splendor, In The Bedroom, Happiness) bestowed their invaluable insight into their world of film making.

The main points of the day that resounded with me were -

* When pitching, state the bigger, underlying themes.

* The more specific the story elements, the more universally identifiable the theme.

* Keep pitch conversational. Don't go into pitch mode! You don't need a result now, it's a conversation that leads to something better.

* Use image books & sizzle reels. Don't do scenes as you won't have the cast. Many financiers lack vision and think your test scenes =the finished movie.

* Actors are loathe to attach themselves to unfinanced projects as their value decreases if it doesn't get made. And so does yours!

* There's no advantage for an actor to be attached to a project unless it feels inevitable.

* Both the director and producer need to protect the story - genuine collaboration required.

* One question to test if a director is crazy: Has he/she had a relationship with another living thing? A human being, goldfish, plant etc.

* Build your community, be authentic, give them context.

* You want a small, really engaged audience who will go out and take action for you rather than a large audience that goes ho-hum.

* Before the film comes out, help people appreciate and contextualise the movie to increase demand at the point of launch.

Crowd-sourcing (as a way of funding) and the various new platforms for financing/screening your movie were also covered (mainly involving downloads/on-line screenings), which certainly got me thinking. Alas, a lot of these new outlets seem to be for the U.S. only, so here's hoping things either change or similar opportunities arise in the U.K.

The day was rounded off with a pitching session, in which names were pulled from a hat, and the chosen few were given a chance to pitch their projects.

Pitching in front of 150 strangers. Yikes.

So what did I take with me, as I weaved my way home through the multiple service-disrupted railway lines?

Film makers need people like Ted and Christine, probably more than ever now.

These two people - or those with a similar passion, devotion and instinct - are the dream that all film makers and writers want.

Someone who will fight for the best of the project

Who genuinely strive for honest collaboration

Who aren't just thinking of their reward (Ha!)

Its not about ego, attitude, or dominance.

Friendly, pleasant, warm people; not in it for the glamour.

Art and creativity matters to Christine and Ted, and it showed. And if you're still uncertain, check out the films that they have made over the past ten or twenty years. Also, its important to add that the seminar wasn't an "Us & Them" deal (as can sometimes be the case) - Christine and Ted included YOU. It wasn't an exclusive club with chancers and wannabe's on the outside looking in. But nor did they unrealistically promise you the world. It was the possibilities and the positivity they conveyed that stoked the creative fires.

This post isn't intended to massage anyone's ego. But what struck me is:

I have seen that it's possible.

These types of people DO ACTUALLY EXIST.

I haven't made them up, or have had unrealistic expectations all this time.

Now if only we could clone them...

The good film round-up

2011-04-12T22:39:00.000+01:00

Righto - here's another list of films that I've seen in the past year which have scored 3.5 stars out of 5 OR MORE!

(in no particular order)

Tamara Drewe

Another Year

Cyrus

The Social Network

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

Chronicles Of Narnia: Voyage Of The Dawn Treader

Toy Story 3

How To Train Your Dragon

Date Night

The Disappearance Of Alice Creed

Extract

4 Lions

The Blind Side

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Everybody's Fine

Crazy Heart

Love The Beast

Edge Of Darkness

Up In The Air

The Road

Cracks

The Cove

Venus

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Dear Zachary: A letter to a son about his father

The Baader Meinhoff Complex

Funny People

I've Loved You So Long

The Hurt Locker

Fish Tank

Coco Avec Chanel

Anvil!: The Story of Anvil

Monsters Vs. Aliens

Studying the above list, again its different, interesting stories and characters that have defined these movies - along with heart. Something to keep in mind....

This time... its WAR!

2011-04-12T16:56:00.003+01:00

Look into my eye!

Yes, my blogs may be as infrequent as weekend trains (Oooooh, take that BR & LU!), but I'm here, aint I? So wass hap'nin', sister? Well: So far, 2011 has been an improvement because:

1. My daughter has started nursery - she's doing brilliantly, becoming a proper little person. Fantastic to see her character and knowledge growing.

2. I have slightly more time to write - yay.

3. I wrote 43 pages of an unusual sci-fi drama. Then I got stuck. Boo.

4. Fed up with being stuck, I turned my attention to an old idea that's been knocking around for a few years. I'm currently on page 112, and the end is in sight. And I LIKE IT!

5. I've been getting out of the house in the name of networking and plugging myself back in to the possibilities of making a new film.

5a) This mainly consists of signing up for the London Screenwriter's Festival, which in itself has already opened up even more fantastic weekenders of brilliant insight.

5b) The first of which was attending AMERICAN INDEPENDENT'S DAY with

Ted Hope (producer of 21 GRAMS, AMERICAN SPLENDOR, ADVENTURELAND, HAPPINESS, IN THE BEDROOM, RIDE WITH THE DEVIL, THE ICE STORM)

& Christine Vachon (producers of KIDS, BOYS DON'T CRY, ONE HOUR PHOTO, FAR FROM HEAVEN, I'M NOT THERE, CRACKS, SERIES 7: THE CONTENDERS).

Needless to say, it was brilliantly insightful, inspiring, motivating... loved it loved it loved it.

6. I wrote a lovely short film, which I'm really pleased with. Next step: Get a producer on board.

Hopefully 2012 will be more like this...

... And less like this.

So that's this year so far, with plenty more exciting events coming soon (which I'll probably tell you about in 2016.)

Its been a long time, General...

2010-08-19T00:00:00.002+01:00

Good Predator Hunting. Much better.

Yes yes yes, I know. I'm not very frequent with my blogs. I tell my doctor the same thing. Anyhoo, I've just watched Good Will Hunting again, and I'm still envious/impressed at how well it stands up after 13 or so years. I have a begrudging admiration for this film - just as I think its going to fall on its face, it staggers into another eyebrow arching moment. I have forgiven Matt Damon for being good in this film. Ben Affleck still looks weird, though.

Millions were spent on CGI arms for
Matt & Ben...

See you in 2014!

Scripts, scripts, scripts...

2009-11-26T11:09:00.001Z

I s'pose I'd better say something about the one thing that I've devoted my life to since I was 14...

Writing film scripts.

Here's how it goes: At 14, I co-wrote a couple of daft, silly stories with a school friend, essentially dissing all our teachers in various scenarios influenced by our surroundings i.e. Die Hard in a school, Aliens with killer carrots... needless to say, we laughed. Nobody else was going to. After creative differences drove us apart (I didn't agree with some of the story points, he owned the PC...) I went my own way and wrote my own 'proper' script. Again, it was another Die Hard riff, as was my love at that time, but from there I progressed into much more serious ripping-offsies.

Reservoir Dogs. When this movie came out in '92, it was a cold bucket of water in the face that made me beg for more. I loved it. Not the violence, not the swearing, but the dialogue. It made me realise there was more to movies than blowing stuff up (I still sometime revert on this theory). Looking back now, I see Res Dogs for what it is (A City On Fire/Taking Of Pelham 123 re-write, but he got away with it and kudos to QT for that!). But it was a huge inspiration. So much that, like many writers at that time, I wrote my own 'British' Reservoir Dogs. Sure, again, mostly appalling, but a few neat ideas/scenes etc...

But it was all enough to motivate me into writing more and more. I even turned my hand to adapting H.G. Well's The War Of The Worlds in 1995. I love the book, and as much as Spielberg did a good job on his version, I feel that he missed the point of the book - which is to keep it set in an era without nuclear bombs and other hi-tec weapons. Its about mankind being over a barrel and there's nothing they can do to stop the onslaught. I love the way the book is about mankind's self-centeredness. Brilliant.

From here I wrote tons. Literally 10 features in one year, all of varying quality, I'll add. Some had great ideas but were poorly executed, some were just fanboy nonsense. But I kept on... After a long period of (warranted) rejection, I had matured and my movie tastes had changed. So I turned over a new leaf, ditched all the old stuff, and wrote my first 'real' script. The change was light years away from my previous efforts. Finally, things began to click. (Go to my website for the scripts I'm most proud of!)

During this time there were lots of highs and lows (Highs being making films, the Quentin Tarantino phone call, Terry Gilliam financing my student film, getting an agent, lows being no money, inner turmoil and self-doubt and squillions of rejections), but I'm at least comfortable with the type of things I want to write about.

And yes, I hear that voice accusing me of B-S whenever I'm writing stuff which I suspect is B-S. And I listen to it and try to think of something better.

Movie highlights of 2009

2009-11-26T10:39:00.001Z

Still not standing for baloney.

So here's the pick of the best movies I've seen this year - they may not have been released this year, but I watched them none the less. So in no particular order, I present films that scored 3.5 (out of 5) or higher...

The Reader
Star Trek
Bruno
Rocky Balboa
Gone Baby Gone
Apocalypto
Zathura
Flame And Citron
Changeling
Juno
Gran Torino
The Jane Austen Book Club
Burn After Reading
Into The Wild
La Vie En Rose
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Hamlet 2
Priceless
Happy Go Lucky
Bridge To Terabithia
In Bruges
Arthur And The Invisibles
The Mist
Enchanted
The Secret Life Of Bees
A Mighty Wind
The Boy In Striped Pyjamas
American Teen
Revolutionary Road
Slumdog Millionaire
Frost/Nixon
Step Brothers
Open Range
Ratatouille
Penelope
Once
A Horton Hears A Who
Shattered Glass
Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium
Cloverfield

I look at this list, and I'm slightly amazed at how much 'serious drama' there is in there, especially as I was raised on Arnie and Police Academy films. Have I finally grown up? There's a fair smattering of kids films in there too, but if I look hard enough, the one thing that links most of these films (with the exception of Bruno and Step Brothers, which just made me laugh out loud lots at their vulgarity) is that they're about people. Well-written characters whose stories I wanted to hear.

With films like Cloverfield, its easy to state that it was just a big monster film playing on 9-11 fear, but referring to list, I think there's something to be said for films which set out to achieve a certain aim, and are brilliantly realised.

Not every movie needs to be curing cancer, and when excellent entertainment has come along, its been an oasis in a desert of extremely mediocre films. I'll list my 3 stars and under films at some point, giving special notice to those that didn't even score any stars (and boy, there were plenty)...

385 DVD rentals in one year...

2009-11-25T19:30:00.000Z

Last October, I joined my local library's DVD hire service: £15 per month for up to 14 hires at one time, and you can keep the dvd's for up to a year. Bargain. Seeing how I was about to become a dad, I figured I'd have plenty of time to catch up my movies (my social life, in particular my cinema-going was about to come to a crashing halt).

According to my membership info, I've rented 385 dvds since becoming a dad. I'll go in to what I've watched at some point, probably with pin-point summaries as the list is far too long to write detailed reviews. But lets go back to that number. 385.

How is this possible?

Before becoming a Dad, I was a video editor, a film maker, a script writer, always on the go with various projects on the boil. When my daughter was born, it was a life-changing experience in many ways. The big plan was that my wife would return to her office job whilst I would look after the baby and fit work in when I could, in the evenings and at weekends.

Seeing how babies sleep lots (at least to begin with), turns out its quite amazing how many films you can watch (providing you're not doing anything more important/creative with your time). The plan to work while she slept didn't quite always work. Its hardly news that looking after a child is tiring, but I had no idea it would be this tiring. So any free time became viewed as 'down time' also known as 'Monging'; time to be still, relax, stare in to space, recoup for the next onslaught...

It took a long time to snap out of this. In fact, I'm not sure if I've snapped out of it fully, as I now try to stay up late now and then to squeeze a movie in, but I've rallied myself to realise that if I am to indeed build a large extension on my house for more babies to live in, I need to sell a script. Pronto. And probably more than just one.

So here's my blog, something I will occassionally update as its better to be writing something than nothing - and its easier to dip into this kind of stuff and keep the creative slosh a-pumpin'. Its also going to serve as something to look back on, and hopefully will chart some kind of progression (uphill preferably, God!)

First post

2009-02-09T12:05:00.000Z

Welcome to Evermore Films' blog! Interestingness baked in.

Updates will chart the progression of various projects, as well as anything film-related that might be of interest to you, the public.

Til then...